I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Sext me about skeletons
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
