Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
