dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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