mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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