Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just found puke in my bra..
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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