3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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