too bad you live with your parents still
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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