a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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