You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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