He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
