Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
