I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
