i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
