Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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