If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Let the clothes fall where they may.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
