i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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