Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
