Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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