I like my sex mixed with concussions.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize