Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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