He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
