why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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