i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
