her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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