So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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