ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I wanna passion pit in your ass
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
