how can u be prego again
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
