Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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