i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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