I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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