well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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