I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
