so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
