His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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