Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
