It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
