He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Houston, we have a squirter
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
