Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
