Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize