he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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