You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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