just come out here and I will go home with you...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
