i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
The best revenge is premature balding
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
