i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Randomize
