so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
