sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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