he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize