I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
