She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
