so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
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