she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize