Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Randomize