Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She announced her abortion via fbk
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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