I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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