So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize