4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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