Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
