My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
