I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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