I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
