She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
