I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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