he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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