belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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