Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
