I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
