oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
