I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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