ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
